Retail therapy, thank you

So I'm feeling a little bit better about the whole studying for the NPTE thing today. I got in 8 hours of studying, which, in reality, is probably about 6 solid hours of good studying, so I'm happy. I didn't get as far as I wanted to be by this point, but I'm making progress.

I'm probably also feeling better about the fact that I just put myself through some pretty intense retail therapy. I haven't been shopping in so long, and I really don't have the time or energy to drive to Toledo or Ft. Wayne to shop, so I just spent a half hour shopping online at Old Navy and Kohls. $100+ later, I am going to have a new wardrobe by the end of the week. I've found that moving so many times last fall actually destroyed a lot of my shirts. You see, I am the laziest mover ever. I don't pack my clothes up. I just take them off the closet hangars and all and throw them in my car. Well, 90% of my shirts are developing little holes in the arms from being pulled on the edges of the hangars. So I need lots of new shirts. Plus, even though one of the major perks of my job is to be able to wear scrubs every day, I still am going to need/want to get dressed up occasionally, so new shirts were definitely in order. I finally took care of the issue while sitting on my couch wearing sweatpants. I saved enough in gas money to offset the cost of the shipping.

Not much else is new in my life. Study study study. That's pretty much it. One week from today is my Ohio laws exam. I've been told that it's not a big deal to wait and study for that a few days beforehand, so now I'm just focused on studying for the big one. Tomorrow I'm studying neuro all day and then taking another practice exam. Wish me luck! Although if I fail another one, I will be sure to keep trying harder!

Big Fail

I was pretty much nothing but a big failure this weekend. I need to step it up into high gear. I've lost all motivation to study. I was doing really good for about 2.5 days and then I lost all my steam. I think at this point, I'm starting to realize that there is just a lot of information that I do not know that I need to know and it's too scary to try to learn.

For example, when studying prosthetics and orthotics, it's really hard to learn what each one is and what it's used for without a picture. Do you think the study book or review guide come with pictures? No. Do you think I have time to look them up in a separate book when I need to study "efficiently?" No. However, I attempted to learn all about orthotics and prosthetics for about 2 hours and can not repeat any of it back to anyone...therefore, wasting those 2 hours of study time, because I retained...nothing.

There's about 10,000 charts of very important/vital information such as gait deviations, normal values of blood proteins, etc. I know I am going to have to have these charts memorized, so I read the chart, but reading it does not help memorize it and when I realize that, my brain turns to mush.

I wish I had one of those brains that soaked up information like a sponge and I could just read things once or twice and remember them. Oh no, I'm pretty sure I have undiagnosed ADD, because I can read things 500 times and still really learn them. Instead of undiagnosed ADD, I think I have an undiagnosed learning disability. Seriously. I have to work so much harder than other people do just to learn stuff. It's no fair!

Needless to say, my positive attitude is slipping away. I need it to come back for that 80% that it's supposed to count for on the exam. I've decided to give myself the rest of the night off from studying since I can't seem to be productive about it at all....and tomorrow I'll hit the books again....hard.

In other news, I went and looked at a house today. I am nowhere near ready to purchase a house seeing as how I haven't even started my job yet and am nowhere near saved up for a down payment. However, it was fun to look. The house I looked at was small and cozy. It was all updated on the inside, had an awesome yard, a 2 car garage, a patio with a hot tub, but the bedrooms were itty bitty. The master bedroom was only big enough for a queen sized bed and that was IT. No room for end tables even or a dresser. Plus the house was over-priced because the owners have just updated it. It's always fun to look, but I think I'll keep looking. I have to pass the NPTE before I even get a paycheck, so that's my #1 priority for the time being. Sigh...

Relaxation Techniques, Deep Breathing, I'm Awesome.

I can sum up what it's like to study intensely for the NPTE in one word: OVERWHELMING. Yes, I started studying a few months ago, but I wasn't "intensely" studying, meaning I wasn't really sitting there with my books thinking "if I don't learn this now, I'm going to fail the exam." I was just reading the books and absorbing some of it and forgetting most of it. Now I really have to know my stuff...and I don't. It's scary. I feel like no matter what I try, I always end up studying the wrong things and learning details that I don't really need to know, while glossing over the information that I really need to know. There are so many charts and graphs that I know I need to memorize, but my brain keeps telling me that it's full and can't take in any new information. My hand is cramping from "jotting down notes," because my idea of "jotting down notes" is to basically re-write everything that the books say.

I made up a plan, just like they told us to during the review course. I have planned out what I need to study every day. However, by the time I get done studying the first thing on the list, half the day is already over and I feel too overwhelmed to start the next thing.

They told us to only study 3-4 hours per day, but to study for 6-8 weeks. Since I only have approximately 3 weeks, I need to study for 6-8 hours per day. This is very challenging and I feel like I am going to get burned out. I'm studying like it's my job, but I still feel like I really need 10-12 hours of studying per day to really learn the things that I need to learn. I don't like that feeling.

The course manual for the review course says that I should be doing all kinds of "relaxation techniques" to help me get through this and to tell myself that I AM going to pass and not even think about any remote possibility of failing. It's apparently 80% attitude and 20% knowledge. So from now on, I'll only be talking about how great I am and how I am for SURE going to pass this exam. I'll be doing my relaxation breathing and taking myself to a "happy place" when I need to take a break. All I can do really is tell myself that all this hard work and studying is making me a smarter physical therapist and will help me to be the absolute best I can be for my patients. When I pass the test, I can tell myself that all my hard work paid off and then I will finally relax without trying.

My job is studying

At this point, my blog posts could go one way or the other. I may not be posting for a while, because after taking that review course, I've pretty much determined that my weak areas include every single area of the NPTE and now I have to develop a study plan that includes many many hours of studying per day until I take the exam. However, I might just need to find some way to take a study break every day and maybe I'll just blab on and on about things that no one really cares to read about anyway. Either way, I will be studying my little heart out for the next few weeks. I have even set up my "study plan" for each day for the rest of May. My goal is to take the NPTE on June 1. We'll see if the school can get my paperwork in on time for that to occur.

The lady who did the review course told us that we should study approximately 4 hours per day. However, I know I'm going to need at least 8 hours per day of studying to get to where I need to be to pass this exam. This is going to be the most intense studying I have ever done in my entire life. Here are just a few of the study tips that I am using to help myself get through it:

• We have been told that the exam is 80% attitude, so....I AM going to pass this exam. Hard work and dedication always pay off. I'm going to pass it. I have worked too hard to get to this point and slack off. I'm going to give it my all and do my absolute best. I'm going to make the most out of each day that I have to study and use my time wisely and efficiently.
• I have already written out what topics I am going to study each day from now until the end of May. I'm going to stick to that schedule and not deviate. Sorry social life. I'm going to miss you.
• My mid-day study break will be either doing p90x (if the weather is crappy) or going outside for a run/walk. I refuse to spend these next 3 weeks sitting around eating food and being lazy while I study. I will do something active every day as my "study break."
• One practice test per week with 2 practice tests the week before the exam. I WILL pass them.

I have not yet decided if I am going to do the majority of my studying at home or go to the library. I think I'll probably just end up staying home. That way I don't have to do my hair and put makeup on. I can just be a lazy bum. However, I'm going to have to devise a plan to help me avoid any distractions that come along with staying home...the main distraction being Facebook. If anyone sees me on Facebook during the day between now and June 1, please send me a message and tell me to get back to work. Studying is my job for the next few weeks. I won't get a paycheck unless I do it well.

Graduation

Yesterday I graduated! It was a great day. I was so nervous about graduation, but everything went smoothly. The party at my mom's was so much fun, even if it was cold and windy outside! We still had a great time. My brother, his fiance, and my nephew all showed up and surprised us! That was so nice. It was so good to see them.

I didn't take as many pictures as I thought I would, but I posted some on facebook. If anyone else wants to see them on here, just let me know and I will try to figure out a way!

I still can't really believe that I've finally graduated. I don't think it's really hit me yet. Tomorrow and Tuesday are going to be just like going to class again with this review course. But all in all, I'm going to have to buckle down for these next few weeks and study my little heart out. It sounds like the weather won't distract me this week....cold, cloudy, rainy, and highs in the 60s! Good days to stay inside with lots of coffee!

DONE

I'm officially done with grad school! What an amazing feeling. The next time I go back to work at Montpelier, I will be a licensed PT! I don't think it has really sunk in yet for me. Probably because I have a ridiculously busy few days ahead of me.

Today is really my only day "off." I could do absolutely nothing all day long if I chose to. However, I do have to get some groceries and clean my apartment.

Tomorrow I have to go get my background check done. Fun times at the sheriff's department. Then rush to Toledo for "exit interviews," which are pretty much totally pointless seeing as how I won't get there until they are already over with. I'll be there for a free lunch and then talk to two of my instructors for a bit afterwards, one of whom is the main source of 95% of my complaints about our PT program. Awesome. Then it's rush back to Fayette to make sure everything is ready for Saturday.

Saturday is graduation and the big celebration. I'll be lucky if I am asleep by dawn on Sunday morning.

Sunday is my day to recover from Saturday.

Monday and Tuesday is the all-day review course for the NPTE in Toledo. I paid over $300 for it, so I guess I better not complain about it. Although it's going to be a huge disappointment if it's not helpful.

After Tuesday, I am going to be studying like it's my JOB. All day, every day. Lots of coffee. No TV or fun. I am determined to pass this thing and terrified that I will fail. Just gotta keep plugging away and stay focused.

When life hands you lemons..

At this point, I am too stressed to keep stressing, so I have decided that the only thing left to do at this point is just plain find it comical that things are going so ridiculously. I worked with my CI for over 4 hours this morning before one of the nurses comes up to him and says, "why is your eye so red?" to which he replies, "I don't know. It's been bothering me all day. But my mom has pink eye and my daughter had it a while back." Um.....awesome.....This means: a) he might not be coming in tomorrow and we are slammed jammed packed busy. This will make for a very stressful day because if I am on my own, I have to go find a PT to watch me do everything. That's pretty difficult to do when you are double-booked all day. Fun. b) I might be catching pink eye just in time for graduation since we touched the same paperwork all day long. Not that I think pink eye can be transmitted through paper, but you never know. I've been paranoid that my eyes are itching ever since.

On the plus side, I just got a call from UPS saying that they found my package that their driver had lost a few weeks ago and they are supposed to be delivering it tomorrow. If it actually shows up, I will be very impressed.

Not much else to tell. Two more working days at my clinical and then I'm done. I'm currently working on a list of things that I need to accomplish this week and I'm pretty sure that list is going to be at least a mile long. Wish me luck.