Pity for pity's sake..

I am totally out of my element. And completely not used to feeling this way. I just want to know if I stand a chance. I hate this not knowing. I used to be so confident. Now I am so unsure.

Apparently when I fall, I fall hard.. I just don't want it to hurt too bad if I hit the ground.....

Paramore: The Only Exception [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

:) :)

Well, here's to another weekend of me hanging out in the background being too scared to say or do anything. Oh I'm smiling, but I'm getting too impatient for this. I want to know the answer NOW. All this not knowing is making me feel too insecure.. I wish life had an "easy manual" that just gave me all the answers so I could know if I'm doing the right thing or just making an idiot of myself.

On one hand, I hate this feeling, because I am not an insecure person... On the other hand, I haven't felt this way in so long, and to feel it again is to feel alive. It sounds so cliche, but it's rare to find someone you're willing to risk your pride for...

No fear, No doubt

I don't even know if I have a reason to smile, but I'm gonna do it anyway. It was a good weekend :) I still don't know exactly what to think, but I said it before and I'll say it again - I don't feel this way too often, and even if there's no chance for anything to ever come of it, I will still be happy here behind the scenes :)

"We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets."

Wonderwall

:)

I, for one, and so glad it's finally the weekend! This week at work has been so hectic and busy. On the plus side, it went by very fast, but I am more than ready for a couple of days off to recover! This weekend should be good. Tonight I'm just relaxing at home (very much needed) and tomorrow I'm going to the boys' basketball game. One of my friend's from work has a son that plays for Edgerton, so they're coming here for the game tomorrow. It should be a good time. I'm excited :) Well... for more reasons than one. I don't want to sound like a horrible person, but there is someone that I've been thinking about a lot lately that will be there also. I'm not saying that anything will ever come of it, but just the thought makes me smile. This is rare for me to feel this way, so I'm not really sure what to make of it. Just going to enjoy the little fleeting moments of happiness for now and not worry about anything else.

What a day

Well, wouldn't you know it? I'm already single again. I suppose this means that New Years day isn't that lucky of a day. But in all seriousness, it was a mutual decision. We just decided that we were better off as friends. You can't force yourself to fall in love with someone or even have feelings for them just because that's what so many other people want. So we are no longer a couple, but still friends with no hard feelings. It probably sounds harsh, but I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. That is, until 100 people come up to me at church this Sunday and ask me what happened ... *sigh*