Selfish

It's been a crazy couple of days with the transition to EMR at work. I think things are going alright. I'm starting to get the hang of it, despite the fact that I filled out a tab that I should not have filled out for all of our weekly conferences tomorrow. Oh well. Maybe the doctors and nurses won't be so understanding, but in my opinion, people make mistakes, and we are all going to make mistakes during this first week of getting used to it. Overall, it's much faster than doing all of the charting by hand. The only bad part about it is that for now, part of the patients' information is in their handwritten chart that is up at the nurses station, and the other part is in our computers, which technically I think we're supposed to keep in our offices as much as possible. So this afternoon, I was working on weekly summaries and realized that I had to run back and forth to the nurses station about 25 times to get the information I needed. But once everyone is in the computer from the get-go of their admission, there will be no need for that. Plus, at the end of the day today, my computer decided that it wouldn't let me log in anymore. Oh and it also decided that for most of yesterday morning. Despite the glitches, things are going well. Ask me again tomorrow and I might have a different opinion. It is just an exhausting transition right now. I only stayed about 20 minutes late today and I feel like I could go to bed right now (it's 5:50pm). But, I can't go to bed...I have the Lions club steak fry tonight!

The only other news in my life isn't that spectacular of news, but I went out on a date last weekend. It was a nice quiet evening and seemed like a very nice date. We went to the Whitehouse Inn and had dinner. We were going to see a movie, but none were playing that either of us wanted to see, so we just came back and watched some TV and the whole date was over by 10:30pm (perfect date in my book). However....let me back up a bit. This guy asked me out after he had stopped over at my house twice last week (he's one of my neighbors). He then ended up stopping over Friday night, even though our date was on Saturday, and asked me to go get ice cream with him. I thought that seemed pretty harmless (and it was), so I went. Then we went out Saturday and I still thought things went well for the most part. However, I am the "take it slow" kind of person. I do not want to rush in to any kind of relationship right now. I'm just getting my life started. I don't need to rush into going out and finding a boyfriend. I wasn't looking for a relationship when this guy asked me out. So I'm all about taking things slow and not jumping into a 24/7 type of thing by ANY means. But.....then on Sunday, I was out mowing my yard when this guy stopped over and suggested that I just "let the lawn go" and go to lunch with him and out for a ride on his motorcycle. First of all, I have a broken rib (and he knows that) so riding a motorcycle now isn't really tops on my list until that heals (which I had already told him). Second of all, I hate when people tell me what to do. Maybe I really like mowing the yard and wanted to do that anyway. I politely declined his invitation, because I already had plans anyway. I was going to train for the half marathon with my mom by doing one of our long walks that afternoon. I told him that and he seemed ok with it, but it was like I had to tell him 10 times until he understood. Now (less than 48 hours later) I see that he has called here and left a message that he wants to bring me some food over tonight. Well, that won't work because I am leaving soon for the steak fry. Regardless, maybe I'm just really selfish or maybe it's because I grew up like an only child, but can't I please just have some FREE time to MYSELF? Ugh... I absolutely can not stand when guys do this. And it happens to me all the time. I'm not bragging, because I can't stand it. But seriously...any time I have ever even shown interest in a guy, he has bombarded me with phone calls, texts, and visits every single day until I finally have to be the b*tch who tells him to back off. I really don't want to have to do this AGAIN. I really thought this guy was a good guy, and I'm sure he is, but I need my space, and I refuse to compromise that for a relationship that I wasn't even looking for. If it happens, it happens, but I'm not going to let somebody force it on me. I'm self-sufficient and proud of it. I don't need someone coming in and trying to run my life and "take care of me."

So maybe I'm mean, maybe I really am a b*tch, but I didn't call this guy back. I'm just going to go out to the steak fry and do my own thing. I am too stressed from the things going on at work and trying to get my own life together to worry about trying to find a boyfriend. If this guy is meant to be, he will understand. If he doesn't understand, then he wasn't meant to be, and I won't lose any sleep over it. I have been in a suffocating relationship in the past and I will never ever do it again. So FYI all you hot single guys out there, do not suffocate me by bombarding me every single day, or I will lose interest in you faster than you can say goodbye.