Sometimes life just isn't fair

This has been an all around tough week. I'm generally not the type of person who gets emotional about a lot of things, but my mind is kind of reeling this week. Kellen will be greatly missed. He was such an inspiration and truly an all around hero to our community. I can't even imagine what his family is going through right now and will likely continue to go through for the rest of their lives. I don't think this is something that you ever really recover from emotionally. Maybe the days eventually get easier, but I don't suppose they ever really get "easy." My heart breaks for them. Sometimes life just isn't fair.

I also found out this week (well today actually) that my mentor, friend, and former clinical instructor is quitting and taking a job elsewhere in the next 2 weeks. His last day at work is a week from Friday. He is a great therapist and I really do wish him well at his new job, but it's going to be hard to see him go. We will all miss having him around. Not only is he a lot of fun to work with and great at what he does, but now we will be short-handed yet again at work and the stress level is going to go up about 110%. I really do love my job, but I have a feeling the next few months are going to be rough. I know that in the grand scheme of things, this is probably something petty to be complaining about, but I can't help but feel too emotionally drained to handle much more bad news.

Today we share our hero with Heaven above

Today our hearts are heavy as Kellen left his earthly body to go to Heaven and be at peace. Sometimes there are just no words. Heaven became an even more amazing place today as our hero here on earth was lifted up to become one of God's greatest angels. He is no longer in pain. He is rejoicing above us and smiling down with those who have gone before him. You will be missed Kellen Keiser. We love you. We can't wait to see you again someday. Until then, we know that you are smiling down on us all.

All of my thoughts and prayers and love go out to the Keiser family. May God's comfort and grace surround them now and always.

No new news

I haven't updated in a while, because nothing much is new in my life. Just the same old, same old..which I won't complain about. I'm enjoying my house and my new car. Sometimes I feel a bit guilty that I have these nice things, but then again, it's nice to see that all that hard work I put in to get to where I'm at today is finally starting to pay off. Plus, I am very thankful to have the job that I have. It isn't perfect, but it's probably the closest I will ever find.

I'm still in training for the half marathon that I am walking on October 17th. I feel very blessed to have so many great co-workers and friends who have been willing to donate their hard-earned money to be my sponsor. All the money raised goes directly to the family of Kellen Keiser, so if you are willing to donate any amount at all, please let me know.

Ohio State

Please check out the video in my previous post. The Ohio State marching band performed the OSU fight song while spelling "Kellen" on the field in honor of Kellen Keiser. It's pretty amazing. Kellen is a pretty amazing young man. This was a very special tribute by the OSU band.

OSU Marching Band - Kellen

Let me re-state my intentions

Well, I guess I'm a liar. I didn't just sit around and do nothing/relax all day today. I went and bought a car instead. I've actually been looking at this car for about a week now. Well, actually I went to the dealership to look at a different car that I had seen on their website and got there to find out that THAT particular car had been sold (wasn't meant to be). After looking around the dealership at the other cars, I became interested in this one and ended up going back and buying it today. It may have been a bit of an impulsive decision, but I really do think that I got a good deal...However...it is the same make and model of car that my mom just bought this year too, so now we're twinkies, except for the fact that mine is a different color and the wheel caps are different. But I cleared it with her first and made sure she wouldn't care that we'd be twinkies :) I have always wanted an SUV and never had one, now I do! The only thing that I don't like about it is that I've been trying to air it out all day, because the new car smell gives me a headache. Always has, always will. I know most people think that smell is soooo great, but to me, it's just like being near someone who has put on too much perfume. So I've had the windows down in my car most of the afternoon and I think it's ok now. I should make it to work tomorrow without having to hold my breath the whole way there.

So now, I am on a strict budget. I've made all the big purchases that I have been wanting to make and now I'm settled down. It's time to start saving and stop spending and giving to others instead of giving to myself. I am not needing anything. I shouldn't really even want anything that I don't already have.

Relaxation

Well, the regular weekend is over, but MY weekend is not. This is my long weekend, so I get to enjoy the day off tomorrow :) It's bitter-sweet, seeing as how I have to work this coming Saturday, but I'll still enjoy the extra day off anyway. This weekend has been decent for the most part, I really can't complain. I went on a very successful shopping trip to Franklin Park yesterday. It was some much-needed retail therapy for sure. Plus, I got to eat at the Elephant Bar, which I have never been to. I highly recommend it. It's not quite as good as P.F. Chang's, but pretty darn close.

Today I spent the morning at church. It was the kick-off Sunday for our Sunday school kids. We had breakfast and games this morning. The regular church service was a little hard, as we are continuing to pray for Kellen and his family. However, it is so uplifting to see our church so full on Sunday mornings. It has gotten to the point that it's sometimes hard to find a place to sit in the pews! What a blessing! Even though there is so much sadness in our community right now, we still have to look around us and see the blessings. Our Pastor has done so much to turn our church into what it is today. It's so amazing to see such a big congregation every Sunday.

After church today, I actually got some cleaning done around the house and watched some heartbreaking football games. I can see that all of my NFL teams are going to let me down this season. The Colts and Lions both lost. The Cardinals BARELY beat the Rams (of all teams). At least Green Bay won, but seriously...this might be a tough season to get through. On the plus side, my NCAA team is starting off positively. Michigan beat Notre Dame yesterday :) And..and I was even cheering for the Ohio State Buckeyes yesterday (for the first time ever) since Kellen was at the game and the Buckeyes pulled off the big win.

My plan for tomorrow - relax, take it easy, don't stress. Enjoy the time off. Sit outside and relax.

TGIF

This week has by far been the most stressful week since I started working. I try not to complain, because I know there are many out there who are struggling more than I am, but this is the first time in a long time that I have been so stressed. I'm so glad it's Friday and finally the weekend. I'm even more glad that this is my long weekend (I have Monday off, because I work next Saturday). Plus, I have 2 afternoons off this week to make up for working on Labor day. I am going to need all that time off to re-energize from this ridiculous week. Let's just say, I'm glad it's over.

Tomorrow I'm going to get some much-needed retail therapy in before I come home to enjoy a full day of college football. It should be a pretty great day. I'm looking forward to it. Sunday morning we are kicking off the beginning of Sunday school at church (I'm teaching jr. high this year) and then it's back home for some NFL football all day long. I'm excited. Who knows what I'll decide to do on Monday, but I might just lay around here and read a book or something equally productive. This stress is eating away at me if I don't get rid of it somehow.

But I should really not complain. Please keep Kellen Keiser and his family in your prayers. Also the family of Cody Martines needs prayers too and Jana Ferguson and Randy Theis. So many families are struggling right now. They are in my thoughts and prayers constantly. Praying for God's comfort to surround them all.

Please keep praying

It's a difficult time in our little community right now. Cody passed away early Sunday morning. Please pray for comfort for his family as they endure this difficult time. Kellen was able to make a visit home today, but is continuing to spend the night at the hospital for the time being. Please continue to pray for him and for his family as well. Even though it is not for us to speculate why God's plan turns out the way it does, I can't help but think that maybe some kids are just so special to God that He wants to take them to be with Him sooner...sooner than what we would like here on Earth, but sooner so that He (God) can have them with Him up in Heaven serving right there with Him. Even though it breaks our hearts, maybe those kids are extra special to God and He needs them more than we can understand here on Earth.

Praying praying praying

Please keep Kellen Keiser and his family in your prayers. Also, please pray for Cody Martines and his family as well. It seems like there's so much heartache going around our little community right now and there is nothing any of us can do about it...other than just pray for these two boys and their families. Sometimes it's hard to see why things like this have to happen. We often wonder why God would let something like this happen to two young guys who have so much more of their lives ahead of them. But it's not for us to say and sometimes it's not for us to know. I will just keep praying for God to be with them and make them as comfortable as possible.

Cherish every moment that you have with the ones you love. Make the most out of every day. Take opportunities as they come. When it comes down to it, love with all that you have to give. Every day is something to be thankful for.

Sleepy

Oh goodness, I am exhausted. I'm wondering if I'll ever catch up on sleep. This week has been so tiring for some reason. Probably because I can't get 8 hours of sleep at one time. I have never had trouble sleeping before, but it seems like now I wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep until about 5 minutes before my alarm goes off in the mornings.

On the plus side, I've been staying busy and accomplishing things. After spending almost 3 hours cleaning this evening, I now have a room to teach junior high Sunday school this fall. I'm looking forward to it. Now I just have to tackle cleaning my own house and finding time to stock up on groceries since my current food consists of coffee, energy drinks, part of a loaf of bread, some stale crackers, and spoiled milk.

But for now..it's bed time.

I'm not afraid

I've been contemplating a lot lately. Doing a lot of praying and contemplating. I've been thinking a lot lately about life in general..about all the things that have happened in my life and how they have shaped me into who I am today. I want to be a better person. I think I have become a better person, but I still want to be better. I still want to live up to what I was created to be. I have a long ways to go.

I'm reading a book right now that is changing my life. It's changing my perspective. It's challenging me to think about how my pathetic attempts at becoming a better person were just for show. I wasn't really giving it my all. I was just doing the bare minimum to get recognition for something positive. I'm starting to realize that it's not about recognition or "proving a point." I was just being "lukewarm" about something I should be on fire for.

Memories of the past have been flooding my mind a lot lately. I can't really explain it, but I feel like I have a lesson to learn from all of it. I know it sounds crazy. I know my thoughts are sounding completely crazy right now. I promise you, I am completely sane. But, in a way, I feel like the experiences and memories from my past are starting to come together and teach me one great big lesson..and I'm finally not afraid to learn it. It sounds so off the wall, but I'm beginning to see what the true purpose of my life really is.

It's exciting, because not many people ever really have that feeling. They just go through the motions of life and don't think much about it. You might be reading this and think that I just have too much time on my hands and I'm over-analyzing every aspect of my life. That's ok. I'm starting to see that my life is so much more than just going to work every day and paying my bills. I can bring so much more to this world. I promise you, I will.