I am determined to stay determined.

Oh goodness, I really need a break. I made it through another week at Wildwood, but not without some exhaustion setting in. I'm not really sure how I am supposed to squeeze in the time to study for boards with all of the homework I've been getting. Don't get me wrong, the stuff that my CI gives me to work on at home is very relevant to what we're doing in the clinic and is very helpful, but there is another girl from my PT class at Wildwood and whenever HER CI gives her homework, he gives it to me as well. Not cool at all. My CI doesn't give HER homework. So, on top of reading 5 articles about the shoulder and answering 15 questions based on these articles, I have to read one random article about ACL injuries. All this weekend. All while trying to study for boards. Who said the weekends were for relaxing?

Last night I came home and fell asleep by 9:30. I've become a real party animal like that. My brain really needed a rest. I woke up this morning with all kinds of motivation to get things done, but I'm losing steam pretty quickly. I'm about half done with my shoulder questions. By the time I finish it, my brain will be too tired to even open the review book for boards. And every time I do open it, I want to cry because we never learned any of the information in it in school. I wasn't kidding when I said that I am going to have to teach myself how to become a physical therapist in the next 4 months. Either I have a serious undiagnosed learning disability or the UT physical therapy program needs to be totally revamped.

But, I just keep plugging away and reminding myself of the ultimate goal. This is hard work, but I know that it will all be worth it in the end. If I truly want to be the best that I can be, I need to get serious. As much as I wish I had more free time, getting my butt kicked like this is really making me a much better PT (well, PT student for now). If all of my clinicals were as easy as the first few were, I would have never pushed myself like this. A small part of me is glad that I am feeling so stupid right now. Working hard to change that is making me more confident. However, don't think that I don't have the days counted down until this clinical is over. 20 more 12 hour work days (and one 8 hour Saturday inservice)....I can do this.