I actually did get quite a bit accomplished this weekend. Yesterday I finished all of the homework that my CI gave me and even read the article that my friend's CI gave her. Doing all of that work is not exactly how I would have liked to spend a Saturday, but it did make me feel very accomplished to get it all done. Plus, I really am learning a lot by making myself sit down and do it. I'm sure there are plenty of mindless television shows I could have been watching instead, but I'm glad I was productive. I even took a few hours to study for boards today. Although I am not getting very far, because it's very slow going with the anatomy stuff, I'm at least getting something done.
With my newfound motivation to study for boards and become the best physical therapist I can be to improve the lives of others, I've found the motivation to improve my own life in the process. I have come to the conclusion that I really need to make a full-blown effort to improve my life and be a better person. I think I have made great strides so far. I'm not dating any losers anymore. I'm trying to make more of an effort to have a positive attitude. I'm praying a lot more. I just still feel like there is more that I can do to improve myself. I need to surround myself with people who are positive and supportive and who can help me become the person that I want to be. I've found that the only time I'm really happy and feel like I am heading in the right direction is when I am at church. It probably sounds pretty ridiculous seeing as how I go to such a small church and there are hardly any people my age there, but I feel like it's the only time that I'm not sitting around feeling sorry for myself. Even though I'm completely overwhelmed with my clinicals and trying to study for boards and working on extra homework assignments and projects, I feel like I need to step up and be a better person in my church and in my community. If I want to make a name for myself as a doctor of physical therapy and be the person I set out to be 4 years ago, I need to make more of an effort. So, here's a list of things that I am going to give my best effort at accomplishing in order to be a better person and a better role model.
- Participate in more community service activities. This Saturday, my Sunday school class is going to a homeless shelter in Toledo to serve dinner. At first, I was kind of on the fence about going, but today I made the commitment to go and I am actually looking forward to it. I guess I never really thought about the true rewards of giving my time before, but last October, a bunch of us from church went and helped build a house for Habitat for Humanity in Fayette. The family that lives in that house came to church today and it was such a good feeling to know that I actually took part in helping them have a nice home to live in. I want to do more to help other people by serving and giving of my time.
- Participate in more community events in general. I'm not really sure yet how I want to accomplish this, but I know I want to be a more productive member of my community. I've debated for a while now about joining various community organizations, but it's been difficult with the varying hours/locations of my clinical sites. I would hate to join an organization and then not be able to make it to the meetings because of late hours at a clinical that is far away. However, I am seriously looking at joining a community organization, whether it be the athletic boosters, fine arts, etc. I will join one before this year is over.
- Be a more active member of my church. I feel like one of those church members who just kind of shows up every Sunday and doesn't really do a whole lot else. For example, the sign up sheet for nursery went around today. It was for people to sign up to watch the kids that come to church during the sermon and things that kids do not generally find entertaining. But I didn't sign up for any days. I probably should have. But there are other ways to get involved, such as signing up to make food one morning for the Welcome Room, which is probably more my thing.
- Surround myself with people who support me in my efforts. This means, surrounding myself with people who support my decision to be a better person, not those who just laugh at the idea of me trying to be better. Not that I am going to drop all of the friends that I have now. I still love my friends, but I feel like I need to surround myself with others who are more supportive and uplifting. It may take a while for me to find those people and it may be a little lonely for a while, but I am determined to do it. It will be impossible for me to accomplish my goals without support and encouragement from others.
- Trust. This is a big thing for me. I have a very difficult time trusting other people. I am going to make an effort to trust others more. I might get hurt along the way, but I guess that's what life is all about. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to be overly trusting. But I am going to put more trust in other people and actually let them be a part of my life, rather than shutting them out because I am afraid of what might happen if I let them in.
- Stop living my life by the clock. I am constantly looking at the clock and relying on it to control my life. This is a big thing that I need to just stop. My clinical experience has shown me that I need to knock this off. I have always been one of those people who hates being late for things and will always be 10 minutes early. However, I need to realize that in the real world, time is not that big of a deal. People are going to be a couple of minutes late and in the grand scheme of thing, what's a couple of minutes? What is 10 minutes or 15 minutes? Not that big of a deal. If I have to stay late at work because someone came late for an appointment, are those 15 minutes really going to ruin my night? Not at all. My attitude on this is starting to change. I could have spent those 15 minutes laying around eating and watching crappy television, or I could have spent those 15 minutes helping relieve someone's pain or helping that person re-gain his or her strength or helping that person to walk again. Those 15 minutes aren't worth stressing about.
- Be more active. Even if it's only just 15 minutes of Wii Fit, which isn't even that strenuous of exercise. In the winter-time, it's very difficult to get motivated enough to work out. In the summer, my mom and I can motivate each other to go for walks in the evenings, but in the winter, it's a different story. I have a hard time making myself get up off the couch and doing any sort of physical activity. However, I know I need to practice what I preach, so even if I just get up and do 15 minutes of minimal-effort Wii Fit, at least I got up and did something and had fun. It's also a pretty good study break.
- Be more thankful for what I have. How could I have spent so much time taking all of my blessings for granted? I have been blessed with the most wonderful family that anyone in the world could ask for. They would do anything for me. Just to prove that - this morning both my aunt and my mom offered to cook supper for me any night I wanted them to and this afternoon I went out to my cousin's shop to change the oil in my car and since the auto parts store was closed when I left, he provided the oil and filter, and also filled my windshield wiper fluid and let me use his air compressor to fill my tires. I tried to pay him for his time and he refused to take any money. I do plan to restock his oil and filter, but you don't get much more supportive family members than that. I will NEVER take them for granted and I can only hope that someday I will be able to re-pay them for all that they have done for me. Also, I have been blessed with a beautiful place to live. Who would have thought that my living situation would work out as it did. I was blessed enough to live in my uncle's rental house for over a year, lived in my brothers house for a month, and now I live in the most beautiful apartment with tons of space for a reasonable price. I feel so blessed to have been given this opportunity. I plan to live here and be grateful for it for quite some time.
These are just a few of the things that I plan on doing, or have already started doing, that will help me become the person I want to be. I may not "have it all" but I am pretty darn close when I really take a look at it. There are really no rewards for laying on the couch doing nothing. A rewarding life comes from hard work, determination, and giving of myself to those around me. Being a positive role model and doing the best I can do to make the place I live a better place to live is what it's all about. I've come to realize that life isn't perfect and we all make mistakes in it. It's up to me to make my life what I want it to be and in my pursuit of happiness, whatever is meant to happen, will happen.
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