A Great Week

I still can't believe what a turn-around it's been with my internship. The first week was crazy and intimidating and frustrating, while this week it was the exact opposite. Don't get me wrong, it was still a bit intimidating at times, but not at all like it was that first week. I'm so glad my CI has realized that I am not ready to learn all of the specialized techniques that he have taken him 4 years to learn (after PT school) and that I just need to refine the skills that I have already practiced. This week, I have started seeing "my own" patients and I am beginning to build up a caseload of my own. I've also started doing the evals on my own, but just the history taking. Next week I get to start actually doing the assessments and treatments on my own from the start. It's a little scary, sure, but my CI has been really understanding about that and he's made it clear that he will be available for me to ask questions or go to him with any concerns I may have before I start a specific treatment. That is so reassuring. I'm grateful to have a clinical/internship where I can build up my confidence with treating patients on my own, while knowing that there is someone there to guide me and give me feedback, but who's willing to let me take the lead.

The only downside now is that I have been seeing another patient who tries to flirt with me (I had one at my last clinical in Bryan also). I hate situations like this. I am one of those people who hates awkward silences, so I really try to make conversation with my patients because I hate just sitting there staring at them the entire time. So, I usually bring the people in and start asking them all kinds of questions to get them talking. Most patients seem to like this because it makes therapy a little less boring and takes their mind off of any pain that they might be having that day. Well, some patients take that attempt to make conversation as a way to flirt with me and "give me the eye." I have one now who is well into his 40s or maybe in 50, married, and still tries to flirt with me. He comes in for all of his appointments drenched in cologne and sits there smiling at me and staring at me the entire time. I still try to make conversation with him, but now I feel like I need to think of even more things to talk about because whenever there is an awkward silence, he tries to catch my eye and stare into them. I am beginning to dread seeing his name on the schedule and hoping that he will cancel, and I hate feeling that way about a patient! I can only keep my fingers crossed that he will realize over the weekend that he needs to knock it off. This is literally the only part of my day today that I dreaded.

Other than my internship, I really don't have much of a life. I'm cleaning all night tonight because they're showing my brother's house in the morning. Go figure, they would decide to show it on a Saturday morning when all I really want to do is just sleep in. But I do have some errands to run in Maumee, so I guess I'll just stop being lazy and get off my butt and get that done in the morning. No excuses. I have come to realize that, in the real world, when you work Monday through Friday, some things just have to be taken care of on Saturday mornings. Boo that...

:)

Things are still going good this week at my clinical/internship. I am extremely grateful that my CI "saw the light" over the weekend. I am now able to work with most of the patients on my own to an extent. I pretty much work with the ones who I can treat with techniques I learned in school and then my CI steps in if they need any type of advanced manual therapy. It's been a pretty good arrangement so far this week. We're also starting to really pick up with patients and the days are getting booked solid so we are super busy, which is great. I am learning a ton from the variety of cases we're getting and the days are going by so fast. I didn't even have time to look at the clock at all today.

I have to say that I was a bit intimidated by my first patient from East-side Toledo today. My first clinical was in Sylvania and the other was in Bryan. Although I experienced "interesting" patients at each, I never had a patient from east Toledo before. I hate to stereotype East Toledoans, because I'm sure they're not all the same, but....my patient today did absolutely nothing to convince me that my stereotype is unwarranted. She was 46 years old and had no teeth. She smelled like stale smoke. The very first thing she said was, "Before you even say anything, this is my husband to be, not my son. He's 24 and I'm 46. You got a problem with that?" She spent the entire eval giving one-word answers and acting like anything we did was causing her excruciating pain. She can not lay on her back or her stomach, yet she expects us to treat her neck pain, in addition to her shoulder pain. For those of you who know the biomechanics of the neck, it would be pretty obvious that there is really no way to treat a patient for neck pain if the patient can not tolerate laying supine or prone. So....this patient will be interesting.

Despite this exception, most of the patients I've met so far have been very nice, fun to work with, and easy to get along with. It's kind of funny how you develop relationships with them differently than the acute care setting. In acute care, you only see them for 15 to 20 minutes at a time plus they're only there for a few days and then gone, so you don't get attached to them. In outpatient, you see them for 45 to 60 minutes at a time and for 2-3 days / week for 2-3 weeks. I am already going to miss some of my patients when they get discharged.

In other news, yesterday I went back to Fayette to vote, since my cousin was running for township trustee. He ended up winning by plenty of votes. It was pretty cool to see this morning online that he not only won, but beat everyone in the category. I'm glad that I live close enough and got out of work early enough yesterday to be able to go back home and vote, but the drive made me realize how glad I am to have a shorter commute every day. Although I am really enjoying my clinical/internship right now, I don't know how I would survive it if I had to drive an hour and a half to get there every morning and then an hour and a half home.

Can't complain

After all that craziness last week and worrying about my clinical, today went really well. My CI came in this morning and told me that he realized that he was overwhelming me with tons of information at once and that I should just focus on what I already know. He said he is going to let me get more involved with treating the patients with techniques I already know and then he is going to just show me some of his techniques that I don't already know. He is going to let me do evals by myself and pretty much let me do my own thing and then he's going to step in when necessary to help out and do added manual therapy techniques that I haven't learned. It was such a huge relief. Today went extremely well and I felt so much better about the clinical as a whole. He told me today that I was "for sure going to pass" and not to worry about it, so I won't. I am a little bummed that I have to go in early Wednesday morning for a meeting, but I got to leave 15 minutes early today, so I won't complain too much. In all honestly, as much as I complained about my clinical in the last post, I can already tell that outpatient orthopedics is definitely what I want to do. I don't dread my work-day every morning and I love being there and getting to know the patients. Most of them are super friendly and nice. Now that I am on the same page with my CI, I think this clinical is going to go by super fast.

New city, New job.

I finally have the internet and TV up and running here in "my" new house. It was a long week without any connection to the outside world beyond my clinical! It was quite the transition to go from checking my Facebook page every 15 minutes to not checking it for 3 days at a time, but I managed.

I'm settling in here pretty good. It helps to be busy with my clinical and not just laying around doing nothing all day long. I have been a bit homesick at times, but not as much as I thought I would be. The commute to Perrysburg is only 15 to 25 minutes depending on the day, which saves me so much gas money. I could also really get used to having a 2 car garage and huge bathroom and a dishwasher and a refrigerator that makes its own ice.

My clinical is going ok so far. It was going really good for the first few days. My CI seemed to be really understanding about how intimidating it can be to start a new clinical and get used to all the new documentation and computer system. Yesterday, however, was NOT good day. I will back up though and just give a little bit of background info as to how my week has gone.

First of all, I am my CI's first student ever. He's been out of school for just a couple of years and he's been working in outpatient for only 4 months. He is foreign and English is not his first language (although he speaks it very well and technically is an American citizen), so there is a cultural difference between us. I am not sure if he is Italian or Romanian, but I think it would be rude to ask, so I haven't. He is very knowledgeable and excited to share his knowledge. He also really really really really really really really likes to talk.

One of my pet peeves is interrupting people or being interrupted. Thus, I try not to ever interrupt anyone. This means that my CI talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and I never get a word in edgewise. He also jumps from topic to topic and subject to subject in the middle of sentences. He is also very blunt. So, this is pretty much how every day goes: I get to work. I start putting my stuff away and he starts talking to me, "Hi, how are you? Good. Don't be nervous. All this information will come to you. I just want to share this with you. Let's put this CD in the computer for you to watch. Can you print out today's schedule? Oh, here, let me print this article for you first. Don't worry about reading all of this at once. It will be too much for you. Did you get a chance to read that article I gave you yesterday? Here is this book I brought for you to look at. Ok so let's look at the spine and I will show you what I mean by an ERSL. You would treat it by - Oh our next patient is here." We will go see the patient while he continues to talk to me like this and I can't focus on ANYTHING because he is constantly changing the subject and confusing the heck out of me. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am his first student ever.

Another thing - My CI things that every single patient has psychological issues. One of the doctors at the clinic studies the psychological issues associated with chronic pain. He made the mistake of telling my CI some of his thoughts about it one day and now my CI thinks that every single patient who comes to our clinic has psychological issues due to their pain. Thus, we are not allowed to empathize with any patients, because it feeds into their psychological issues.

Also, My CI uses 99.999999999% manual therapy for his treatment and 0.000000001% therapeutic exercise. Thus, I am learning absolutely nothing about how to progress a therapeutic exercise program, but I am learning manual therapy techniques that I have never even heard of before. Don't get me wrong, this is a good thing. My CI does get results with his patients and he does an excellent job helping them to get better fast. But, I feel like we aren't doing anything that I learned in class and if I ever get a job somewhere that I feel like using therapeutic exercise to treat my patients, I will have no idea what to do since I didn't do it on my clinical. This clinical is technically supposed to be "outpatient orthopedics" and it is actually "outpatient manual therapy." I'm not knocking it. I think it works. I just wish I could learn a little bit more about ther ex also.

My main complaint - My CI treats me like I don't know how to do anything. It's true, I don't know how to do all the manual therapy that he does. But I DO know how to take a patient's history during an initial eval. He asked me to do that yesterday and then interrupted me at least 50 times in front of the patients to ask questions that I hadn't gotten to yet. It made me look really stupid in front of the patients and I was really embarrassed. He says he was doing that to "help me out" but I did not need his help with that and I told him so. He told me to not be so defensive and that he would just leave me alone with the patients from now on. At first I felt bad about that, but the more I think about it now, I don't feel bad. I did not appreciate being treated like an idiot in front of the patients and I would rather work with them on my own than have him sitting behind me interrupting me every 2 seconds to ask a question that I was going to ask next. Ugh. It was horrible. Although, I will say, that after that happened yesterday, he spent the rest of the day praising my documentation and the day did end well. So maybe it won't be so bad after all. I could go into so much more detail about my concerns and issues with this clinical, but I think for now it's best to just leave it at that. I should just be appreciative of the fact that I am finally working with outpatients who do not have IVs and bed pans and that it only takes me 20 minutes to get to work every day. Yep, I'll just leave it at that.

Scared and Nervous...

Well, I'm making the big move tomorrow (as long as it doesn't rain). I am pretty scared. I shouldn't be, because it's only 45 minutes away from home and I am just being a big baby. But, I know I'm going to be homesick. There are two types of people who grow up in Fayette - those than can't wait to leave and those that never want to leave. I am the second type. But...the time has come for me to change. No one in their right mind would turn down an opportunity like this. It would have been so foolish to say no. I know I can make this work. However, my first week or so will be without tv or internet...talk about lonely. I'm going back to the dark ages of radio for a while.....or several DVDs played in a row.

Things I am telling myself to alleviate my homesickness:

• I will only be 45-50 minutes away from home.
• My cousin and his family live 30 seconds away.
• I will be closer to my PT friends and can finally hang out with them!
• I will be so much closer to my next clinical.
• Although my cat will not like moving, she did used to live in this house, so maybe she will get re-acquainted with it faster (yes I am really worried about my cat...I love her so much). Plus she will have more room to run around and play.
• If I find a job in May that is closer to home, I will just move back.
• My brother said I can call him if anything goes wrong and he will take care of it, so I don't have to!
• I will be living in a safe neighborhood with old rich people as my neighbors.
• Kroger is one block away.
• I will be able to park both of my cars in the garage for the wintertime.
• My mom has a key and will come visit me (or at least she says she will).
• I can come home and visit my mom whenever I want to (or at least she says I can).
• My refrigerator has an ice maker on the outside.
• I will have a dish washer (although I do not know how to use one).

So, these are all the things I will be telling myself over and over again for the next couple of months while I get used to such a big move. I could have made a list of all the things I'm scared about or all the things that will make me homesick, but that will just make me sad, so I am going to focus on the positives. Plus, Thanksgiving is coming up and I will definitely need a big family get-together about that time. So, since I won't have the internet for a while after tomorrow (as long as it doesn't rain and I do get moved), wish me luck and the next time I post, I should be settled in.

New Endeavors

Well, I never thought I would be doing this. Never in a million years. But I received an offer this week that I just couldn't turn down. It's not going to be easy to do this at all, but I am moving out of Fayette. It's going to be so hard. But, my brother hasn't been able to sell his house in Waterville (which is just outside of Toledo) and he called me this week to see if I'd be willing to live there so that he doesn't have to leave it empty for another winter. As much as I want to stay in Fayette, I think it's the right thing for me to move into his house. It's so much closer to my remaining clinicals, so I won't have to drive so far in the winter. Plus, I park my Mustang there in the winter-time anyway and this will give me a 2-car garage to park both of my cars in all winter long. And my cat will have more room to run and play! Plus, I do have a cousin who lives just down the road, so I won't be in Waterville all by myself (although it will still probably seem that way sometimes).

So...this gives me a lot of planning to do in a very short period of time. My clinical starts on Monday, and after that, I'll be working Monday through Friday, with no option to take days off. Somehow, I have to get moved and get my cable and internet set up ASAP since 99% of the assignments that I have to do for my clinical are due by email or WebCT. I have to figure out if I can even get moved this weekend or if I need to wait and move in next weekend. I have to figure out how I am even going to get all of this stuff packed up and ready to move in the first place. My mind is kind of spinning right now with all the decisions to be made.

Although I'm pretty sure that I am doing the right thing, I'm still pretty scared about it. The house is in a really good neighborhood, so I'm not scared because of that, but I am scared to leave my family in Fayette. I just have to keep telling myself that I will only be an hour away and that I can come back whenever I need/want to. I know I am going to be a bit lonely. I'll probably even cry. But I can't keep driving so far every day and I do want to help my brother out (although I think, in reality, he is helping me out more than I am helping him). This is a huge step for me. HUGE. You wouldn't think moving 50 miles away would be that big of a deal, but it definitely is!

I am the talus. I am the stupidest bone in the body, but I'm still smarter than Joe Girardi.

I'm finding it so difficult to concentrate on any type of review that I wanted to do before this next clinical. It's so tempting to just lay around and do nothing! About all I can make myself do is color in my anatomy coloring book and read about 3 paragraphs at a time in my orthopedics book. Ugh....I need to get motivated!

I finally got my hair cut and colored to cover up all the gray hairs that school gave me. Well, the girl who did my hair said that I only had one gray hair, but I think she was just trying to make me feel better about it, ha. I was pretty happy though because I finally found someone who can actually cut, highlight, and style my hair. For example, highlights do not always have to be blonde. Finally I found someone who realized this. Also, just because my hair is wavy does not mean I want it to be that way. If I came in with it straightened, I want to leave with it straightened. It's about time someone took the time to actually style my hair like I want it done and not just scrunched up because that's "easier." I know these things sound petty, but when you have been disappointed with hair cuts and highlights for 27 years, it's kind of nice to actually find someone who does it right.

Not a whole lot else has happened so far this week...my Yankees lost yesterday, leaving me feeling pretty bummed out for the rest of the night. They better make a serious comeback tonight. It would be nice if at least one of my sports teams became world champions. It hasn't happened since the Colts won the super bowl like 3 years ago. That being said, I better go attempt to review some more before the game comes on tonight.