Tuesday, November 22, 2011

You hate the fact that you bought the dream and they sold you one..

Life hasn't exactly been all that easy lately. I haven't had a whole lot to say, because none of it is all that uplifting. So many things have been on my mind and so many people are hurting and there is nothing I can do about it. I can't even explain how I feel. All I can say is, that in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I can give a list of things that I am thankful for and pray for everything to get better. With that being said, these are the things that I am thankful for, the things that I couldn't make it through without...

1. I am thankful for my best friend. She is my rock and the only person that keeps me sane when times are tough. I truly believe that God put us in each other's lives when He did for a very important reason, because we have both been through the toughest times in our lives and wouldn't be able to get through them without each other. I truly believe that I wouldn't be able to be a responsible person in life without her support.

2. I am thankful for another very important person in my life who has been there for me off and on for many years now and has always treated me well and helped me build my confidence from the ground up. This person is genuinely a good-hearted person who picked up the pieces for me after my dad died and let me cry on his shoulder when all I thought I wanted to do was stay strong. This person has been there any and every time I have felt like I hit rock bottom, and for that I am thankful.

3. I am thankful for my family, who has always been supportive no matter what I have done in life. They have always been there for me and we have all surrounded each other through some pretty difficult times. If it weren't for my family, I don't know where I would be today, but I know for a fact that I would not be in a happy place if it weren't for my family. I love each and every one of them with all my heart. I know I can count on them.

4. I am thankful for my education and my career and all the opportunities both have provided for me. If it weren't for my education, I wouldn't have my career, and if it weren't for my career, I wouldn't feel the fulfillment and satisfaction of knowing I have improved the lives of other people. I absolutely love my job. It does have it's ups and downs, but I love coming home at the end of the day knowing that I have helped other people and made their lives better. Nothing is more rewarding than getting paid to help others.

5. I am thankful for a roof over my head and food to eat. There are so many people out there who are suffering more than I am. I am thankful to be warm tonight and to have a place to feel safe and secure.


These are just a few of the things that I am thankful for. I know it's not a long list, but these are the things that are important to me. It hasn't been easy, thinking of things to be thankful for after a year that has been so hard. There have been plenty of times this year that I have felt like everything is falling apart. But know in my heart, that with these things that I am thankful for, I will make it and I will be ok.

Monday, October 31, 2011

quote of the day

Patient: Well, I guess after I go home, I'm going to have to make the dog bark to wake my husband up in the middle of the night when I have to get up so he will wake up and walk with me to the bathroom.

Me: Yep. Your dog will come in handy.

Patient: That dog is somethin' else, let me tell ya. He is so hyper.

Me: What kind of dog is he?

Patient: Yorkie.

Me: What's his name?

Patient: Gizmo

Me: oh yeah, you told me that. That is so cute.

Patient: We should have named him hemorrhoid.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

here I am again, kickin' dust in the canyon wind.

I'm still alive! I haven't even been that busy, I suppose that's why I feel I have nothing very news-worthy to say. Current events in my life are very boring. But here's a quick run-down of the most exciting things that have happened to me within the past few weeks:

  • Walked/Ran and completed the Columbus half-marathon a couple of weekends ago. I actually thought it was more fun this year than last, even though I wasn't expecting it to be. I was a little bummed that my mom couldn't walk it with me this year, but she did go and show her support. We had a lot of fun and stayed in a really nice hotel and ate really good food the night before the race.
  • I've lost 5 pounds since summer and I'm not really sure how or why, but I am certainly not complaining and as long as I can maintain this weight that I am at right now, I'm happy because all of my clothes fit.
  • I finally got a raise at work. It wasn't anything to brag about, but it was still a raise and I am very happy and excited about it.
  • I have currently budgeted to have a hot tub and patio by next year at this time. I have stayed on track with my savings and I am very happy to say that I will be making this happen within 12 months from now. I know it's not a pool, but a hot tub can be used all year round and does wonders for weary people like me who have back pain every day.
  • I'm going to Wisconsin to see my brother in a couple of weeks. I'm pretty excited to see him and his family. I haven't seen them since Labor day and that's been far too long. It's going to be a quick trip, but I'm excited to go.
  • I do have to work this year on Christmas Eve, which is a real bummer since I will probably end up working late that day. We are always really busy on Christmas Eve. On the plus side, since I'm working Christmas Eve, I will be getting a long weekend over New Years. I haven't yet decided what I'm going to do with my 4 days off, but I haven't ruled out a mini-vacation of some sort. It will be the pre-vacation to my Mexico vacation.
That's pretty much it. Pretty boring, I know. I have been entirely too lazy the past few weeks. All I do is go to work and come home and go to bed. It's pathetic. I am behind on so many things that I need to catch up on. So I guess I will go get started on some cleaning and then hopefully accomplish something else productive.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Quote of the day

Patient: I'm so sorry I forgot to have my husband bring my walker from home.

Me: That's ok, you can just have him bring it any time between now and when you go home. I just need to adjust it to make sure it's the right size for you.

Patient: Well my husband said he can bring it tomorrow morning, but he has to work really early. If he brings it in before work, will the hospital be open that early the morning?

Friday, September 9, 2011

I set fire to the rain..

Well, needless to say, there have been some updates to my life in the past month. The first one being that Ryan and I broke up and even though I am the one that made the final decision to break up, I'm 100% sure it was a mutual decision. I don't have anything negative to say about him. It just wasn't meant to be. My life has definitely been a lot quieter lately, but there are some lessons to be learned in all of this and I am going to take them for what they're worth.

Lesson #1: Don't ever forget who you are. In the process of being in a relationship with someone who has 4 kids, I devoted so much time and effort into them and their lives that I completely forgot my own. I put a lot of my priorities on the back burner and never took the time to sit down and remember my own wants and needs. I will no longer do that.

Lesson #2: Don't ever make someone a priority if they only make you an option. I made the huge mistake of making someone a priority over my friends and family, spending all my time with him and his family I guess to prove that I was committed. I do believe that the person you love should come first, but I know now that it was too soon to start prioritizing.

Lesson #3: Your true friends will still be your friends no matter what. My friends have proven time and again throughout my life that they are genuinely true friends, but this time they have really come through to show their support. Friends that I have not seen in many months have checked on me to make sure that I am alright. These are true friends and I can only hope that I would display the same level of kindness and caring to them as they have for me.

Lesson #4: Your family will always be your family. I love my family with all of my being. Although I may not always show it, I do. And to have them stand by me through all the good times and bad, well.. that's just what families do and I am so very blessed to have mine, because they are the greatest.

Lesson #5: Don't let anyone make you feel like you aren't successful. I don't like to brag on my own accomplishments, therefore I hardly ever do. And I think other people tend to forget the fact that I am smart and I do know a thing or two about life and I have gone through graduate school. I will never again let someone treat me like I am not smart. Yes I will admit that I have had help to get to where I'm at today, who hasn't? But I have built this life by my own effort. I did the work to get through grad school. I got the job. And I have my own house and my own cars and I pay my own bills. I won't let anyone make me feel like I am not smart.

So those are the lessons I've learned through this experience. Everything happens for a reason. I can smile because I have good memories from it and now I've moved on. There is more waiting for me in this life and I'm ready to find out what that is.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Life and Loss

Most who read this regularly already know that my dad passed away last week. Words can't really describe how I felt when I found out. I guess you'd have to know my entire life story and understand the circumstances to really even begin to grasp the mix of emotions that I have been feeling over the past 28 years. I can tell you with complete honesty that when the phone rang last Tuesday night at 10:44 pm and I saw that it was my brother calling, I knew exactly, without a shadow of a doubt, what he was calling to tell me before I even picked up the phone. And even after he told me, I was still shocked. It doesn't make much sense, but then again, if you didn't live through the circumstances, you wouldn't understand. In the days that followed, I felt a mixture of shock, anger, sadness, rage, loneliness, fear, regret, bewilderment and grief. I can't help but wonder what if, even though I can't change anything. In the end, I don't have any regrets. I did what I thought was best in an effort to get him the help that he needed. He did not choose to get help. But that does not change the fact that I have lost my father and I am sad that he is never coming back.

All in all, my dad was not a perfect father, not even close. He was not a perfect person, not even close. He had many faults and he did not do his best to be a good dad to me. But he was still my dad. He led a life that I will never understand. He did a lot of things that I will never understand. But I loved him regardless. And although I don't have too many happy memories of my dad, I do have some that I will never forget... I remember my dad taking me fishing some pond around Bryan. I don't remember where it was exactly or who owned it, but I can remember going a few times just the two of us and my dad teaching me how to get the fish off the hooks without getting cut. I remember my dad sitting me down one day when I was still in elementary school and telling me that when I grew up I could be anything I wanted to be and no matter what it was, he would support me. My dad took me to Las Vegas many times, but we took a trip for my 21st birthday, which was on a Sunday. We had a very early flight that morning, so we stayed overnight at the hotel at Detroit airport the Saturday night before. He set the alarm for midnight so we could get up and go down to the hotel bar and have a drink at the very minute I turned 21. We talked about how cool it was going to be when the bar tender asked me for my ID. When the clock turned midnight, I ordered my drink, and the bartender served me without even asking to see my ID. We laughed and laughed and I will never for get that. For that same trip, he let me choose where I wanted to stay and we stayed at a suite at the Venetian where I won $750. My fondest and favorite memory of my dad is a boring one. There is not much to tell. But I will never forget one Saturday that my dad took me out for breakfast to Lester's Diner in Bryan just the two of us. I was probably 6 or 7 years old. We sat at a booth at the diner and ate our breakfast and he paid attention to me and only me for the entire time we sat there. I remember feeling so special for those couple of hours. I don't remember what either of us ate or what our waitress looked like. But I can remember the song that was playing and ever since then, it has been one of my favorite songs only because it has always reminded me of Lester's Diner and spending that time with my dad. The song was "Saturday in the Park" by Chicago.

I pray that my dad is at peace now.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Life is good.

It has been quite some time since I've posted, but this summer has been very busy yet very fun. So many things have been going on, I'm not quite sure where to begin...

The big summer project right now is Ryan's pool. He's putting in a 16' x 32' pool in his backyard. He found the one he wanted in Cleveland, went there and tore it down, and now is in the process of putting it back up. It is going to be so nice when it's done. I've been helping when I can, when I'm not at work and when I'm not too tired from work to help. We worked on it for a good 8 hours today in the 95 degree sun all day. All the sand is down and the forms for the bottom are set, but it has to be completely leveled off yet. It's going to take a while to get it all done, but it's going to be amazing. He has been putting a lot of work into it.

Work has been going decent. We were pretty busy a couple of weeks ago and the other PT I work with was on vacation, so it was just me and my boss and the assistants. It was a little crazy and stressful. Now the other PT is back from vacation and we are not so busy, so it's been alright. I am really feeling like an official PT now and actually feel like I know what I'm doing and have some authority around there. I'm not on a power trip or anything, but I do feel like I have more responsibilities now and have earned my place there and gained respect from my peers. Even though the work can be hard (literally heavy lifts), I'm enjoying taking on more complex cases. It makes me feel good to have built a good reputation there.

In addition to work and helping build a pool, everything else in my life seems to be going good at the moment. I have made a lot of positive changes in my life that I'm really happy about. For one thing, I am working very hard on having a new attitude of not sweating the small stuff. I am trying not get bothered by little things that used to really irritate me. Life's too short to get stressed about small things. Another positive change - I have quit drinking. Completely. I thought about it for a long time and never could make myself give it up. But I have decided that it's for the best and the best thing for me to do is just not have any alcohol at all. So I am done. I dumped out every alcoholic beverage that I had in the house and that's it. It's been an adjustment, but nothing I can't handle. A lot of diet pop and crystal light and iced tea and I am fine. Life's too short for being too inebriated to enjoy it. I've also taken up some better hobbies (when I have time for hobbies). It had been a really long time since I actually sat down and read a book for enjoyment. Last week I went to walmart and bought 4 new books and I'm already through 2 of them and will probably get to the library the next evening they are open to see if I can find a few more. I barely use Facebook anymore. I used to be a Facebook addict. Now I really only check it once a day for about 30 seconds. I have a lot more free time to do productive things than sit around updating my Facebook page every 5 minutes. I'm also going to start cooking more often and stop eating quick fix meals like nachos and hot pockets. I haven't cooked a decent meal like I used to in a really long time. I'm going to start again.

So that's what's been going on with me. I feel like it's all been good. This has been a pretty good summer and I think it's going to continue that way. And at the end of summer, I have a week's vacation over Labor Day to look forward to. Life is good.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

I haven't had much to say in a while. It's been a lot of the same for me. Busy busy busy. The summer is just flying by with activities, but all good so far. I've been spending a lot of time up at the ball park to watch baseball games, which has me reminiscing a lot about when I was a kid and playing up there myself. I really miss those days. Life was so much simpler then. I miss having a summer that consisted of riding my bike around town, swimming at the pool, and playing softball. I really miss those times. With that being said, I am going to try my hardest to win the lottery and retire early so I can re-live my childhood, because here are the things I miss most about it:

1. Swimming at the pool uptown from 1-5 and 7-9 every single day all summer long (and if I win the lottery I can pay to restore it and do it again).
2. The house we lived in on Fayette street that is next door to my mom's house now (and if I win the lottery I will buy it back just so I can go hang out in it whenever I want to and remember how much I loved it).
3. Sleeping in.
4. Walking to the Frosty Haus (Cruiser's now) and getting ice cream at random times during the day.
5. Riding my bike all around town.
6. Actually having time to read books and magazines.
7. Sitting on the front porch in the evening watching traffic go by without a care in the world.
8. Climbing trees.
9. Going out to my Grandma Ziegler's house and doing all kinds of awesome activities.
10. NOT having to work.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Puppies

Well it's been awhile. Life's been pretty crazy, but I wouldn't change it. Well, I'd change the working part for an early retirement, but other than that, no I wouldn't change anything. Work has had it's fair share of challenges lately. Let's just say that if I could go to work and just do my regular job every day without other people stepping in and trying to alter/change things without my knowledge/consent, then I would have nothing to complain about. But since I don't live in a perfect world, I spend a lot of time whining when things that are out of my control go wrong/get blamed on me/make my work day miserable. Oh well. I guess that's life.

On the plus side, I have a great group of friends and family. And I just found out that my brother and his family are coming home for the weekend so that gives me something pretty fun to look forward to. Plus, Ryan's oldest son graduates high school this weekend and there are a TON of graduation parties to attend. It's going to be busy, but fun.

The only other news in my life is that I am currently contemplating getting a puppy (again). I haven't made my mind up yet, especially since this particular puppy is very expensive, but I am really seriously considering getting it. It is so cute. It's a Padderdale (if I am spelling that right) and so adorable. Ryan's youngest son and I have already named it. I think I might just have to splurge on it and get it, just so Ramona can have a friend to play with and I can finally get another dog after not having one for so long. But we'll see. This puppy is going to cost $500 and I have a trip to Mexico planned for January. Those two items would pretty much use up my entire tax return from this year, so I have some serious decision making to do, because the Mexico trip has already been paid for and is happening no matter what :)

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mothers Day

Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers out there and especially mine who is truly amazing. My mom is the greatest mother a person could ever ask for and I love her very much. I appreciate her more than words can say. She has done so much for me in my lifetime and made so many sacrifices for me. She is the strongest person I know and I am so thankful for her.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Counting blessings

I've been in a weird mood lately. I've had a lot of things on my mind. I can't really explain it (nor do I really want to on a public website), but I just can't stop thinking about so many different unresolved things. It's very emotionally draining. However, I am a firm believer that God puts certain people in your life and the exact right time and for specific reasons, and I have to thank Him for my best friend who always listens to me and lets me vent about anything and everything. I have grown wiser over the years when it comes to opening up and talking about things. I am really careful these days to think before I speak. I am so glad though to be able to vent things out to someone who actually listens without interrupting me. I don't know what I would do without her. She is truly my mentor in pretty much everything.

In other news, all I really do these days is work. I have worked 2 weekends in a row now. But on the plus side, I don't work another weekend until June 25. I normally don't work 2 in a row, but another therapist couldn't work today and needed to switch. I was scheduled to work Memorial Day weekend, so I switched with her for that weekend so now I will get a long weekend at the end of this month. I'm pretty happy about that. If my vacation days that I've requested actually work out, then I will be getting a few other days off this summer which will be very much needed. I also got asked to go to Mexico in January next year, which I am SUPER excited about! My one friend at work has a timeshare in the resort part of Mexico and her husband didn't want to go and said she should just take a bunch of friends, so a bunch of us girls are going and it is going to be a blast. I can't wait. I have been needing a vacation so bad.

Things with me and Ryan are still going good. We are both just so busy that I feel like we have hardly seen each other in the past week. He was gone with the senior class on their senior trip as the advisor and I have been working a ton so maybe we will actually get to spend time together sometime soon. I am working in Archbold all next week to cover for their therapist who is on vacation. Even though they work longer hours, my commute won't be as long, so maybe it won't be such a stressful week. We'll see. Wish me luck.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Happenings

I have been really really lazy about updating this... I feel like life has been a bit of a whirl-wind lately. Not a whole lot new has been happening, I'm just staying super busy with work and everything else that life has to offer. I can give you a quick rundown on what's been happening with me since I last posted.

1. I've taken the diet and exercise plan that I keep writing about and actually applied it. I saw some pictures of myself from a few weeks ago and could not believe what I saw. I had to make a change. So I finally did and I'm starting to see a few results. There are times when it's really hard, like when everyone else is ordering the good food at work and I'm stuck eating a salad or the diet food I've packed, but the results are worth it.

2. I am currently playing the lottery like it's going out of style. Not that I hate my job, but it's getting a little stressful lately. I hate to say that, because I truly am blessed to have the job that I have, but there are many days (more here lately) that certain things are really starting to get to me. I can honestly say that I would have no trouble retiring today if I really could.

3. My house is infested with mice. I woke up in the middle of the night last night to the sound of an animal crawling around. My cat started going crazy and ran into the bathroom. I followed her and found her staring at something up in my shower curtain. It was a mouse. I caught it with a plastic walmart bag and threw it out. I went to Dollar General today and bought $20 worth of mouse traps (both live traps for in the house and poison traps for in the garage) and have caught one more mouse in one of the live traps and threw it outside too. Ugh... It is so gross to have rodents in the house. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my cat is a good mouse-catcher.

4. My best friend's mother passed away unexpectedly over the weekend. My friend's name is Renee. Please keep her and her family in your prayers. She's going through a really tough time right now. Her mom was older, but it is still sad when someone passes away, especially when it's so unexpected. Renee has been such a good friend to me through so many things, not just at work, but with everything. I can only hope that I can be there for her like she has been for me.

5. I am in need of a vacation very bad. I really really wish I had the vacation time to take off work for another week long vacation in addition to the time that I have already requested off. I am taking the week of fair (Labor day week) off work and taking the day of Relay for Life off work. But other than that, I haven't decided what vacation days I am going to take this year. I don't have another full week of time built up yet, but I am thinking that I need to get away for a while. I think I've earned it.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

the queen of hearts is always your best bet..

It's almost that time of year, when the weather warms up and the sun comes out. I am looking forward to it! It's supposed to be almost 80 degrees tomorrow. I am very excited! I went to get the mustang out today and it turns out the battery is dead. I ran to Napa really quick and bought a new battery and am currently waiting for Ryan to come over and put the new battery in so I can get it out and drive around tomorrow! Plus I have to get it ready to go by next weekend so Hunter and Katie can take it to prom. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone all dressed up next weekend. I have no idea what I'm doing with my hair, but I think I have the rest of my "look" figured out. It should be a fun time.

Things have been going great for me, other than work. Work has been stressful and busy, but everything else is going great. I need to find a way to get more caffeine in my system so I can stay awake most days, but other than being tired, I am super happy. I never thought I deserved such a great life, but I truly have everything I could have ever asked for and more. I am so blessed. I don't say it enough. I have so many good things going for me right now. Everything in life has it's ups and downs, but it just seems like no matter what, I have a reason to smile these days :)

Friday, April 1, 2011

The clock's ticking, I just count the hours.

It's been a while, but I haven't had anything too exciting to post. I've been busy with work and everything else that I don't have a whole lot of free time these days. The end of March was ridiculously busy and I'm glad it's over. I had the conference one weekend and then Ryan was gone in Columbus the next weekend and in between it seemed like we were really busy at work and there were so many other things going on. It's nice to be back to a somewhat normal pace. This month is busy, but not too crazy. This weekend is the reverse drawing. Next weekend I am on call for work. The weekend after that is prom. The weekend after that is Easter (I think) and the weekend after that I work. But it's getting closer and closer to summer and warmer weather :) And I am very excited about that. I'm sick and tired of this nasty cold and rainy weather. Literally. I have a cold. I'm ready to lay out and get a tan and do things outside. I'm contemplating planting a garden this year. I had one a few years ago and it was somewhat successful. It would be nice to have free vegetables again. We'll see how motivated I get this year (or how much time I have). All in all, life is going good. I'm really happy and I wouldn't change a thing. I am really blessed. I don't know what I did to deserve to be this happy, but I am sure thankful.

Monday, March 21, 2011

News and Happenings...

So I spent the weekend in Columbus this past weekend learning about new ways to treat stroke patients. It was a 2 day conference on a Saturday and Sunday. It was well worth going to, but very long! I learned a lot of new techniques that I'm excited to start using with some of my patients. My work actually sent me to the conference so they paid the cost of the registration, which was awesome. It was 14 CEUs. I just got 3.5 from a conference last month, so I only have about 7 more to go and I will be all set for my renewal in 2012. However, I don't think I'll be going quite so far away for the last 7 CEUs. Columbus isn't too terribly far, but with the fact that it was a 2 day conference and lasted all day both days, I went with another girl from work and we stayed at her sister's house, which was about 20 minutes away from the conference. It's always awkward to stay at someone else's house, let alone someone you don't even know and have never met before. I felt really out of place. They were super nice though and that made it easier. All in all, I am really glad I went and even more glad that it's over.

However, I'm off work today, because I can't walk without shooting pain up the side of my foot. I haven't been able to walk well since Friday. I have no idea what happened. I went running on Wednesday, because I'm training for a 5K in June and a 1/2 marathon in October. I went 3 miles on Wednesday, came home, and felt fine. I was actually quite happy that nothing hurt when I got back. Thursday I felt fine. Then Friday at work I was pretty miserable with pain in my foot and ankle every time I walked (which is all day with my job). So I had one of the PTAs do a grade 5 joint mobilization on my foot, because I thought that would make it feel better... and it did.. for about an hour. After that, I was more sore than before and could barely hobble around Columbus all weekend. Luckily we got to sit down for most of the entire conference, but even just walking from the parking lot to the conference room about put me in tears. I made a Dr.'s appointment for today and went and got an x-ray. My foot isn't swollen or anything, so she's really not sure what is wrong with it, but it's possible that I might have a Marching fracture, which is caused by repetitive activity like running (or marching). So I should know by the end of the day what the x-ray results were. Needless to say, no one was very thrilled at work that I'm not able to work today. I called by boss last night to tell her and she found someone to cover for me, but they are still not very happy. Or at least they weren't when I went to go get my x-ray there. I guess we'll see what happens. My doctor was talking about having me wear a post-op boot to see if I can make it through the workday with that if the x-ray looks ok.

Nothing else much is new with me. Things are still going good with me and Ryan. It's been a crazy month with things going on. Basketball is just finishing up. I was in Columbus all weekend this past weekend, he is in Columbus all weekend this coming weekend, and then the next weekend is the Athletic Booster's banquet and reverse drawing, which we are obviously going to, then the weekend after that is another sports banquet and the weekend after that is prom, which I am now going to. I never thought I would get asked to prom at the age of 28, but what do ya know...haha. Ryan is the class advisor for the senior class plus takes pictures for the yearbook so he has to go so I get to go. Plus I want to be nosy and see what all the kids wear and what cars they are taking. I'm pretty sure one of Ryan's sons is going to take my Mustang this year, so that's a good excuse for me to get it detailed and looking nice. His son is taking my good friend's daughter, so it will be fun to see them go together.

So all in all, I am doing nothing today other than propping my foot up on some ice and popping Alieve every few hours. Keeping my fingers crossed that it feels better by tomorrow, because I really do not have a whole heck of a lot of sick time to take for this. Wish me luck.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

I wouldn't wanna have it any other way.. I just can't get enough.

Wow, I've been busy.. It's been a while. Things are still going good for me for the most part. Work is ridiculously busy and stressful. I'm looking forward to some future low-census days. I worked yesterday, and with "springing forward" I feel like this is barely even a day off for me. Then I go on to work all week this week, have a conference in Columbus on Saturday and Sunday, then back to work another full week, so my next day off is not until a week from Saturday. I will have 1 day off for 3 weeks time. That really sucks. At least my work is paying for the conference. That's about the only positive factor in all of it.

The rest of my life is going quite well. It's hard to juggle work and a social life when you are the only one who has to work weekends and late hours, but I'm managing. It's a good thing I have today to get my house cleaned up though, because I've pretty much neglected it for 2 weeks straight and it was starting to look pretty bad. Hope I can get things at least halfway back in order before the next 2 weeks of craziness begins.

Overall, I feel very blessed to have the life that I have. Things are going great and I never thought I could be this happy :) Nothing in life is ever "perfect" but at least for once I feel like things are going my way and I have a reason to smile.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Hold on.. Never turn back.

Life's experiences definitely end up teaching valuable lessons for the future. I know my own life's experiences are becoming a huge factor in how I handle those in my current life. I never thought I would say that the things I went through during my childhood would ever be worth anything, but for once, all of that unhappiness is teaching me a lesson for the present time in my life. I'm more equipped to handle the current situations than your average person would be and for that, I am thankful. I am so blessed to have the most wonderful man in my life who knows exactly what to do at the exact right times to make me feel better. I don't know what I ever did to deserve something and someone so great. Maybe I just have a hard time believing that I deserve this. But this is real. This is something I have waited my whole life for.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

you made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

Quick post.. because I'm really exhausted and I'm supposed to be getting around to go out again. A friend at work told me today that "new relationships mean you sacrifice sleep in order to spend time with the person." How true. I have been running on approximately 6 hours of sleep per night for the past 14 nights or so.. But it's all been 110% worth it. Juggling work and a social life on very little sleep is worth it when you have so much to smile about! I might be drinking coffee like it's going out of style, but I'm living the good life and have absolutely no complaints. Ok well... I will complain about the fact that I had to work today and missed an entire day of basketball tournaments, but I'm off to go watch the girls 2nd tournament game here in a bit and should have another great night!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Saturday, February 19, 2011

I think I'm really pretty smitten

It's as official as a referee with a whistle. This hot commodity is no longer on the market! :)

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day


This pretty much made my day :)


Sunday, February 13, 2011

Remember how to put back the light in my eyes.

Well, I didn't get much sleep this weekend, but it was well worth it :) Had another great day today. Things are looking optimistic. We had our first official "date" today and have another one planned for Wednesday. I literally could not be happier. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that everything keeps working out, because I am the happiest I have ever been. Seriously. Nothing is going to bring me down.

Wow. Awesome night.

Someone up there loves me. I am absolutely certain. I'm not sure what I did to deserve to be this happy, but I am on cloud 9 right now. What an amazing night. I'm gonna try very hard to keep it all inside for the time being, but I'm as happy as I can ever remember. I just had the greatest night. I don't care if I don't sleep. You couldn't even pry the smile off my face.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Amazing Night

I, for one, had an amazing night last night. I kept having to pinch myself to be sure I wasn't dreaming. Literally. Wow, I am not usually one who wishes for things to happen and have them actually happen, but I have to say that in this case, I am very glad that it did!

So I have been going on and on about this guy for the past few weeks about how I really like him, but not sure if he likes me or even pays attention to the fact I exist. Well, I've kind of been keeping quiet about it lately, because I really wasn't sure, and I got a few good words of advice that I should probably not get too hyped up about it until after basketball season is over (he is a basketball coach), because he is so busy, which is true.

Well, last night I was pretty bored and found out that my cousin was going to go up to the one bar in town to visit a friend from Michigan that was here for the night. So I met them up there. It turns out that this particular guy was up there too with the other basketball coaches. It's not a very big bar by any means, so there was no hiding the fact that this was pretty much my only opportunity to get my point across. However, I didn't want to come across as too obvious or needy, so I just kind of sat back and did nothing. Two hours later, one of the other coaches asked me to come sit with them and history was made. Haha just kidding.... We sat around and talked for a couple of hours and then we all went home. I was a little bummed, because my cousin told me that I hadn't been obvious enough. Well, just as he was telling me that, the phone rang. It was the guy I've been talking about all these weeks. And he's interested in me also :) And we are going to start hanging out more.

So... It looks like I'll be going to the basketball game tonight. It's away. But if anyone wants to come along, get ahold of me. I am very happy and in an awesome mood right now :)

Saturday, February 5, 2011

If words could make wishes come true.

It has been a bittersweet week and for the most part, I'm glad it's over. Thursday was a tough day. It is every year. My aunt passed away 2-3-06 and I will never forget. Lots of memories were brought back this week. I just focused on the happy times. Life isn't fair, that's for sure.

The next few days should be pretty busy. Today I'm spending my day off at a continuing education course on Parkinson's Disease. Not exactly how I wanted to spend my day off, but I should get at least 4 CEUs for this, so I'll survive. Tomorrow is the super bowl. Not sure what I'm doing for it yet, but I might just stay home and relax. I hate the Steelers enough to offend any of their fans, so maybe it's best to stay home, lol. Then it's back to work for another long week of craziness. I am in desperate need of a vacation :/

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

[HQ] Jim Croce - Time in a Bottle [HD]

Snowpocalypse 2011

Today I chose to stay home from work and play it safe. We are only under a Level 2 snow emergency, so maybe I'm a wuss, but I don't care. I'm not going to take the risk. I can't even get out of my driveway anyway. The snow is piled up at the end from the snow plow and it's so full of heavy ice that I can't get it dug out with my snow shovel. Plus, the snow is continuing to fall, making things worse. So even if I am the only one from the therapy department who didn't make it in today, oh well. I'm not going to total my car and I'm not going to risk hurting myself. I have student loans to pay and it's pretty hard to pay them if you hurt yourself and can't work. If I get fired for not showing up, I can always find another job. I'm home safe for the time being.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Snow Days

So after going to school for 7+ years, I work at a job that requires me to come to work when it is not safe to be on the roads due to bad weather. I am less than thrilled about this. Apparently Physical Therapists are considered "emergency personnel" and can drive to work during a Level 3 snow emergency. We're just supposed to show our name badge and we won't get arrested. HA! I don't think so.... Guess who is absolutely NOT driving in to work if there is a level 3 emergency. I did overhear my boss telling 2 of my coworkers today that they would "make do" if some of the therapists had to call off. Well guess what, they're just going to have to "make do" without me if it's that bad, because I refuse. I'm not risking my life. And I'm not staying the night there just because I am single and don't have any kids. There are only 2 conditions in which I am willing to spend the night in Montpelier tomorrow night, either:

a) I get to take Friday off work without having to use any benefit time and receive full pay for it

or

b) The hospital pays for my accomodations at the Ramada Inn

Otherwise, I am coming home... and on Wednesday morning, if it's bad, I might just back out my driveway directly into the pile of snow that the snow plow piles up and get "stuck" and have to call in. I'm sorry, but therapy is not life or death. Nursing staff is necessary at the hospital and so is a doctor for the ER. But therapy is not. I will stay home and snuggle with my cat...who I love just as much as a child.

It will definitely be interesting to see how this week pans out. I wonder if I'll get fired for not going in or staying the night there? At this point, I don't even care. I kind of enjoy the activity of living and I think I will keep on doing it.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The effects of aging

I am getting so old :( My back is killing me. I am living on Bayer back and body pills like there is no tomorrow. I don't even know what I did at my exercise class tonight, but it's really aching now.. ugh. I feel like all my vertebrae have arthritis. Plus, I'm pretty sure I just created a self-tanning disaster of myself with tan towels. I should be nice and orangey looking by the weekend. Nothing says "attractive" like a self-tanning nightmare who can't even stand up straight from an aching back.

This has been a pretty stressful week to say the least. Work has been crazy. We aren't even that busy, but it's been hectic. A lot of things are going on. I'm having a hard time keeping my head on straight most of the time. And lucky me, I get to work this Saturday. Oh well. I need the paycheck. No job is perfect and I'm still pretty blessed to have the one I have.

As for other issues/happenings in my life. Well, I guess I will just be patient and see what happens. If anything is meant to happen, it will. If it wasn't meant to be, then I'll just accept that and move on. But let's all say a little prayer that it does :)

Monday, January 24, 2011

Pity for pity's sake..

I am totally out of my element. And completely not used to feeling this way. I just want to know if I stand a chance. I hate this not knowing. I used to be so confident. Now I am so unsure.

Apparently when I fall, I fall hard.. I just don't want it to hurt too bad if I hit the ground.....

Friday, January 21, 2011

:) :)

Well, here's to another weekend of me hanging out in the background being too scared to say or do anything. Oh I'm smiling, but I'm getting too impatient for this. I want to know the answer NOW. All this not knowing is making me feel too insecure.. I wish life had an "easy manual" that just gave me all the answers so I could know if I'm doing the right thing or just making an idiot of myself.

On one hand, I hate this feeling, because I am not an insecure person... On the other hand, I haven't felt this way in so long, and to feel it again is to feel alive. It sounds so cliche, but it's rare to find someone you're willing to risk your pride for...

Sunday, January 16, 2011

No fear, No doubt

I don't even know if I have a reason to smile, but I'm gonna do it anyway. It was a good weekend :) I still don't know exactly what to think, but I said it before and I'll say it again - I don't feel this way too often, and even if there's no chance for anything to ever come of it, I will still be happy here behind the scenes :)

"We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets."

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Friday, January 14, 2011

:)

I, for one, and so glad it's finally the weekend! This week at work has been so hectic and busy. On the plus side, it went by very fast, but I am more than ready for a couple of days off to recover! This weekend should be good. Tonight I'm just relaxing at home (very much needed) and tomorrow I'm going to the boys' basketball game. One of my friend's from work has a son that plays for Edgerton, so they're coming here for the game tomorrow. It should be a good time. I'm excited :) Well... for more reasons than one. I don't want to sound like a horrible person, but there is someone that I've been thinking about a lot lately that will be there also. I'm not saying that anything will ever come of it, but just the thought makes me smile. This is rare for me to feel this way, so I'm not really sure what to make of it. Just going to enjoy the little fleeting moments of happiness for now and not worry about anything else.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

What a day

Well, wouldn't you know it? I'm already single again. I suppose this means that New Years day isn't that lucky of a day. But in all seriousness, it was a mutual decision. We just decided that we were better off as friends. You can't force yourself to fall in love with someone or even have feelings for them just because that's what so many other people want. So we are no longer a couple, but still friends with no hard feelings. It probably sounds harsh, but I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. That is, until 100 people come up to me at church this Sunday and ask me what happened ... *sigh*

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Life is good. Peyton Manning is good too.

So far, so good in this boring little life of mine. I haven't had a whole lot to say in the past week or so, because I feel like I have nothing exciting to post. Work is still the same, although I have moved on up to take on a few more responsibilities...with no pay raise of course, but maybe taking on more will eventually lead to a pay raise. I evaluated and starting seeing my first outpatient yesterday. After working so long seeing rehab inpatients, I've about forgotten how to eval and treat outpatients. It was a bit of a transition, but I think it went ok. One of our outpatient therapists is on a 3 week vacation, so the rest of us are trying to fill in and I finally got my opportunity to show that I can take on some extra work. It was a little nerve-racking, but worth it. I'm going to continue to see this patient and one other outpatient next week :) But...don't get me wrong, I still love my rehab inpatients and have no aspirations to ever leave for an outpatient job.

For all of those who say they "need details" on my relationship with Dusty, well I don't have a whole lot to say, other than I am very happy with him. He is from Morenci, but his parents live in Fayette now. He goes to my church and is the youth group leader there. He is 34 and has 2 kids from a prior marriage. He is a concrete foreman. He is working and going to school to become a youth pastor. I guess that's about it :)

Well, I am going to enjoy every last second of this weekend and my time off. I have already run all the errands that I need to take care of, so it's lazy on the couch from here on out for me. The Colts play their first playoff game at 8pm tonight :) I can not stress enough how blessed I feel to have all of the things that God has put into my life at this point in time. Life is good!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

1-1-11

Is it good luck to start a new relationship on New Years Day? I don't know, but we're about to find out :)